Time, Sleep and Cardio

To really kick start my weight loss (not so much my diet), I started doing my cardio work in the early AM.

4:15, up and out of bed, stomping out a fast paced fittness course (well as fast as my fat ass can handle) where some days I'd carry a medicine ball, some days my grip trainers, other days nothing. 2.5 miles, as fast as I could walk/jog up a big damn hill and over the other side and back again.

I hated every last second of it. I tried the ipod, I tried singing, I tried praying, I tried doing math, but nothing really stemmed the white hot hatred I had for those mornings. Until I started noticing results, and Randi started noticing results. And people at work started noticing results.

Cool.

But not that cool. I was burning the candle at both ends, working out in the AM and then lifting weights after work. Two workouts a day thanks to not really having any social or household obligations during the week. No more yard to take care of, no more dog, just me and my fittness goals. But I was tiiiired. So, after a trip to Michigan, I stopped doing it every day. And after the malady I experienced a couple weeks ago I stopped it all together. Now that I'm back in the gym I decided to do cardio after I train with weights in the evening.

Am I happier? Not really. Am I getting better sleep? No. Am I stoked about doing cardio after I lift weights in the evenings? Nuh uh, however, people at the gym have noticed since I usually just come in, lift, and leave. Now I crank out some work on the elliptical machine before I adjourn. But my goal isn't to impress them anyway.

Randi figured I was doing too much, and she was right. But now I feel like I'm not doing enough. I'm still losing weight, only gained two lbs over the turkey day weekend that was full of food and beer and I'm sure that'll be gone and then some by the weekend.

But I don't feel good.

I think the fittness walks in the AM was an important part of my week that I've since ommitted, because felt that I needed more sleep.

So,

Tomorrow is Thursday, and I'm going to get my ass out of bed at 4:15 and go do what I had been doing for a few months. Then, after work, I'm going to the gym and I'm going to train back and biceps, go back to the house, eat some food, and get some legit sleep.

Because I'm going to do it all over again on Friday morning.

My psyche is such that I give myself permissions, excuses, and outs. It's something that's hampered me for all my life. Making something stick for the long haul, especially something that takes an incredible amount of work gets difficult for me, so I have to have these conversations with myself and talk myself out of pizza and beer and opt for turkey and rice and water. I'm my own worst enemy I guess.

Thanksgiving on the whole truly bums me out. Truly. For reasons that I won't delve into, but it does. If I let it, it'll bleed over into the christmas season as well, and when that happens, my comfort and therapy is the food and the drink. Not so much the people to share good times with, it's the food and the drink.

Thanksgiving got ahold of me again this year. But I'm stiff arming it. Thank goodness for experience and being more self aware this year. I'm sure I'm going to slip and tumble, but I'm more prepared for it, and with a big full deep breath I can say that I'm back on track.

B.